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Self Sabotage


So, I'm sitting here on this beautiful Saturday morning feeling really down as I sulk and delight in my own pity party. It's funny because I'm the one who is always trying to encourage and motivate others with their fitness goals, aspirations, and life in general. However, today I feel like doing nothing at all except hiding myself from the world and feeling sorry for myself. Normally I'd feel ashamed by this and pretend that all is well just to maintain a positive vibe for others to see. The truth of the matter is that I too become weary and discouraged at times (I AM GODDESS...but I am still human:P).

My motivation has escaped me. I'm feeling defeated and as though I'm so behind on many things. I've been this way for a couple of months now but I chose to keep going in spite of. In my quest to keep journeying on, I find myself also just going through the motions and not necessarily , all out balls to the wall as I would normally do. I really can't put my finger on what has gotten me to this point but despite the reasoning I'm here. As a result of my lack of energy and enthusiam for not only training, but everything else in my life. I have decided to take a break from everything. I've taken a break from extreme dieting, I've taken a break from training (except for with my trainer 1x per week), and I've had to put things into perspective. Sometimes you really have to back up and take a step back to try to regain and regather yourself...not just physically, but also mentally. Everyone has times where they experience a bit of exhaustion, or a time where things seem to be clouded and they have lost their direction. I am no different. Often times the ones who are considered the strongest by others are usually in need of someone to impart fuel and wisdom into them also. You get to a point where you've given so much for so long to others that you feel empty yourself. That's where I am right now. Feeling out of sorts, tired, and empty.

Sometimes it's hard for us to show that vulnerability, or weakness to others because they expect continual strength. Today I decided to show my weakness to also encourage others that have and are experiencing the same lack of (____ whatever your LACK is). Trouble doesn't last always and it will eventually get better.

So, today I find myself releasing those guilty feelings and just understanding that I don't have to be as perfect as want people to believe that I am. I can show my real human emotions and allow myself to rest and breath for a minute. Absolutely no one is perfect...


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