Yeah you read me right....it's a shame because some of us don't even see the error of our ways. Many of us allow ourselves to be just that. Stuck the fuck on stupid. And guess what? We're doing it because we are watching the average amongst us do it too.
When I say stuck, I mean stuck in relationships where we are unhappy, stuck on dead end jobs that we hate, stuck living a mundane life because someone else told us we should be and doing things that someone said we should do. Mama and daddy stayed together in a miserable relationship for years so we think we should do that too. They told us to work hard and get a good education and we thought working hard is what we have to do.
Quite often we are playing this silly game of, "follow the follower." We have watched everyone around us doing things that we have studied for so long, been told to do for so long, that we start doing what it is that they are doing because they said it's the right way.
As children in grade school we watched all the girls and boys wanting to fit in and be liked so badly that we were trying to keep up. we were going along to get along. Following them as if they were doing everything right, when we just might be following the wrong individuals.
Growing up at home, we watched our parents living a certain way and doing a certain thing, and we started doing the same thing, saying the same things. We were unconsciously being programmed. Having never questioned if it's the right thing for us.
I remember when I was a little girl and my mom would comb my hair and dress me up nice and pretty and say, "now go outside and play with the other little kids." I would cry if she made me. I was the type of kid who loved watching the other kids play from our living room window. I'd rather play with my own toys while taking pride in the way I looked, enjoying my own company. It made me happy to watch them. It never felt good to me doing outside to get dirty with those kids after my mom combed my hair and dressed me. I'd rather sit pretty and watch.
That has never changed. I'm the same way as an adult. But I grew up calling myself and introvert because someone else said that's what I am. In actuality, I'm not an introvert at all. I am just someone who enjoys my own company and my spirit thrives and feels good in that place. When i am among others, I socialize with those who are attracted to me and to whom I'm attracted. I understand the areas of my life that make me feel good and productive. I've done some self re-evaluation and it doesn't make me an introvert.
That is usually an area that most don't explore...SELF.
We are simply following the follower. We were raised a certain way and we have fallen into a trap of thinking it's the right way without checking references, or doing our research for ourselves and within ourselves.
I always thought I was supposed to work hard on a job all my life and retire there because everyone in my family worked hard for someone else all their lives. Yet, I was always miserable doing that. I've had a million jobs because I never felt good about working any job. I felt like something was wrong with me for not feeling good about doing it. I was simply following the follower. I was raised baptist and I thought that's what I was supposed to be. Everyone else who wasn't a baptist, was doing something wrong. So, you see how easy it is to get stuck into believing what we have seen others do is the correct way for us to do it too?
I was listening to one of Earl Nightingale's recordings and he told a story of a man who walked to work everyday and passed by a clock repair store that had a grandfather clock in the window and for many years when he passed by that clock, he would set his pocket watch to that clock. One day when the store owner was outside and saw the man setting his watch and he asked him, "hey there sir! I've seen you set your watch everyday to that grandfather clock in the window, why do you do that?" And the man replied, "I blow the quitting whistle at the old mill down the street where I work everyday at 5 o'clock and I want to make sure that we are quitting at the right time everyday."
The store owner said, "Hmmm, that's funny because I've been setting the clock to correlate with that quitting whistle everyday for the past few years." You see there? Following someone else's way may not really be the right way? Who knows how much time they have lost over the years by following someone else's lead and not doing their own work and research?
Now, don't get me wrong, I have done it myself for as long as I can remember and it wasn't until I decided to do the exact opposite of what the sum of the average people around me are doing. That is when I found true joy in my life.
When you decide that you no longer want to be stuck on stupid and stop following followers, you eliminate the comparison standards that we often find ourselves doing to ourselves.
You don't have to compete with anyone else, or catch up to anyone besides yourself. It's a way to just start listening to your authentic whistle that resides within your spirit, your heart, and your mind. No one else can govern that.
We have to learn to trust ourselves and listen for the answers that so many of us are in search of from the outside and realize that everything we need is actually on the inside of us.
You can't see how stuck and how stupid you have been until you start doing the research and the work. See how you feel afterwards. It's so empowering!
Life is for the living. You don't always have to be one way and do one thing. You can try many things! And doing what someone else is doing is not always going to give you the joy and satisfaction that they might have.
Furthermore, you can't always assume that the next person that you've been following is even happy with the things that they are doing in the first place. You'd be surprised at how many people are walking around stuck on stupid.
You can change the wave. Better yet, create the wave. Be the wave.
As former President Obama once said, "Be the Change You Wish to See in the World."
It is quite alright to decide that you no longer want to be a follower who has been "Stuck on Stupid."